Cambodia Mission Trip Reflections #1- pre-trip preparations

3 days till the mission trip.

I have been challenged to step out of my comfort zone through baking for fundraising in church. The Lord has been gracious - unburnt rainbow cupcakes and good tasting shortbread! Thank God for kristi too who helped make the rainbow cupcakes. This time, there was flour :D and thank God also for yanti n Jodie n mum n dad who helped me with baking and packaging and delivery and providing materials. I'm reminded of the verse which speaks of His power made perfect through my weaknesses, so that I will boast in no one else but the Lord! Also, how we function together as different body parts together for God's work (:

Had a booth after Christmas service with those baked goodies on top of Abby's Choc chip cookies (like famous Amos!) and butter cookies. Everyone was asked to give any amount they wished to donate and we were aiming for $200 from that. Generous souls helped by selling, publicizing and giving.. praise God, we raised $972.70!!! How amazing was that! The money will be given to the Cambodian flood victims in the form of ration packages or other things that they need.

Rev Lau reminded the team that besides going to Cambodia with the mindset that we are going to help n serve n give, we should also keep our eyes n ears open to what God wants to teach us through the journey.

Besides that, I'm quite excited to get to know my team better (: they seem like a crazy bunch hehe. There's 9 of us: mingfenglaoshi, lingzilaoshi, Dorcas, Abigail, sean, Augustine, Luther, jiajun and myself. Searching for puppet show scripts was also a refreshing time of learning about God's love but I might share that later on. (: OK packing time!

Le sigh.
And the frog never left the well. Because it was told that jumping may increase risks of broken bones. Being out of the well, one may have high chances of dying of thirst. Humans may trample you and eat you.
Why bother looking at what the world has to offer, when the well is comfortable, safe and familiar? Why should birds learn to fly? Why should babies learn to walk? Why risk falling when you can just enjoy your whole life lying on a nice comfortable mattress ..

“we are safe!”

Oct 31

by k.t. sim

read> Jeremiah 7:1-11 Do you really think you can steal, murder, commit adultery, lie . . . and then come here and stand before me in my temple and chant, “We are safe!”—only to go right back to all those evils again? (Jeremiah 7:9-10).

more> What do John 14:6, 1 Timothy 2:5-6, and Hebrews 7:23-28 teach us about the Jesus who saves?

next> What has given you a false sense of security? What will you do to turn to God and experience true safety?

According to a 2010 Pew Forum on Religion report, 53 percent of Christians in the US did not know that Martin Luther was the person who inspired the Protestant Reformation. So they wouldn’t know that on October 31, 1517, in the little German town of Wittenberg, Luther nailed his 95 Theses on the church door—inviting scholars to debate the use of indulgences; a practice Luther believed gave believers a false assurance of their salvation. Luther spelled out what true salvation is in his first four Theses: “1. When Jesus said ‘repent’ He meant that believers should live a whole life repenting. 2. Only God can give salvation—not a priest. 3. Inwards penitence must be accompanied with a suitable change in lifestyle. 4. Sin will always remain until we enter heaven.”
The people of Judah had a false sense of security. They believed their temple guaranteed their safety (Jeremiah 7:4). Rejecting God’s laws, they lived deceitfully (Jeremiah 7:8-11). The prophet Jeremiah warned them of their foolishness and falsehood, stating “It’s a lie!” (Jeremiah 7:8). He also made it clear that the temple of the Lord cannot save (Jeremiah 7:4,8)—only the Lord of the temple saves (Jeremiah 7:5).
The people needed to “quit [their] evil ways” (Jeremiah 7:3), reform, and repent (Jeremiah 7:5-10). They couldn’t “steal, murder, commit adultery, lie . . . and then come . . . and stand before [God] in [His] temple and chant, ‘We are safe!’—only to go right back to all those evils again”! (Jeremiah 7:9-10). Their “inwards penitence [needed to] be accompanied with a suitable change in lifestyle” (Luther’s Thesis #3). Only then would God be merciful (Jeremiah 7:5). Only then would they be safe and secure (Jeremiah 7:7).
As believers, we must be able to “prove by the way [we] live that [we] have repented of [our] sins and turned to God” (Matthew 3:8).

Play wib peelings!

Random thought of the night:
Remember how when we were younger, our piano teachers would teach us to play a song and then we play and they ask us to play with feeling? And then we were just like ???!?!??? What does that mean??!?!?! But after that we learn that playing with feelings means to sway your body and sometimes just your head side to side, back and forth, while you play your piece... and the music sounded exactly the same as when u didn't move.. or maybe worse because its overwhelmingly multitasking. Hehehehe. Funny times..

Peeling good. Eben without bicks.

Picciesss!!!

oh man.. looking at old photos makes me so emo
i don't like goodbyes and changes.
:(

You give and take away..
my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be Your name.

have you ever felt like a failure? have you ever made a mistake and told yourself not to do it again, but find that now it seems impossible to not make the same mistake ever again? have you ever felt no one understands and they just think you just can't be bothered? have you ever felt disappointed for letting your loved ones down time and again and again.. but find yourself repeating that .. again.. and again?

my future looks bleak.. full of uncertainties..

basically........ i handed in my assignment late AGAIN. im starting to wonder when was the last time i handed my assignments in early for a whole semester. and currently, i feel like im in a dangerous position.. like i might fail this unit. HAVE I NOT BEEN WORKING HARD? this is so confusing.

after holding back tears for like 30minutes and trying to come to terms with the fact that im not as awesome as i thought i was, life went back to normal... studying, chicken burgering, ice creaming, studying, laughing, "backward rollercoastering", travelling home, cooking, eating, making operas out of any songs with jojo
plus a drive to study and do my assignments.. after MEGAMIND :D

what an amazing night to wrap up LC 2010/2011. Listening to God's work in transforming OCF Curtin and OCF WA as a state. And listening to Aunty Carol's life finely crafted by God.

once again, I AM IN AWE :D

GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

this time last year, so many things were different.
change. it's an idea i'm constantly learning to embrace.
enjoying times where i reminisce about my exciting life in the past, it's so easy to be blinded to God's blessing placed right before me all my life.

thank You Lord.

hallelujah moments of the past week:

- deadline extension for goglobal scholarship application
- update from hi5 buddy meow from china
- watching narnia part 1 with ocfers and many new friends
- bernie's surprise jap dinner with the girls and HTHT post dinner
- long overdue catchup with lady thotho in PCC
- going to school with sherxiaomei and ngzhongdi
- ikea meatballs and daim cake with siums
- FINDING MY HEALTH BOOKLET!!!!!
- skyping limqinyi minus something on her face.
- being a pig n overeating with dad (once a day) and sis (once a week)...
- rainbow sightings
- double rainbow sightings
- missing the rain
- catching the rain
- awesome weather.. dry or wet.
- meeting friendly blood test + vaccination ladies after a fierce and scary GP and nurse
- the trees with red flowers
- gigantic clouds
- goodlooking skies
+++

Ephesians 2:10
For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/north-korea-soldiers-malnourished-report-034845040.html

it's time for some...

SILENCE
&
STILLNESS

:D

http://www.ourdailyjourney.org/2011/06/22/behind-the-scenes/

Today's devotion came from the book of Esther, talking about God's work behind the scenes. Interestingly, the word God was never once mentioned in that book, however, His hand at work is ever so evident in the events that took place.

After reading about His "behind-the-scenes" work in the book of Esther, I am compelled to share about His "behind-the-scenes" work in my life in 2 particular occasions: neuro supp, gerontology late assignment.


NEURO SUPPLEMENTARY EXAM
One thing that definitely contributed to my hectic crazy second year in uni, was the hectic crazy unit called Neuroscience Neurodevelopment. Even by reading the name, one can easily see that it's meant to be 2 separate units instead of one. Clearly it felt that way to me. Weekly Neuroscience lectures, Neuroscience tutorials, Neurodevelopment online lectures, Neurodevelopment workshops, + readings + tutorial/workshop preparation worksheets... this was the most interesting yet challenging unit I've ever come across. Juggling this with 3 other units and other commitments throughout the semester, I came to realise that my knowledge of the brain was negligible when the exam study break arrived.
I had made prior arrangements with a friend shuling, to go for a roadtrip around Perth in the winter break after exams. However, after learning from ongtingtong that it was the supp exam period at that time, I decided to call it off, just in case.
Also during that winter break period, will's (a friend from Overseas Christian Fellowship) auntie's friend's friend's friend's friend's friend had a daughter, muimui coming to perth to begin uni and was looking for accommodation. Knowing that I was living alone (Geri my cousin was in Milan for exchange for a semester), he asked if my house was available to accommodate mui2 for the first few days in perth before she finds a house to settle in. [God's hand: thankfully i was not away somewhere on roadtrip, otherwise I wouldn't have had the opportunity to accommodate mui2 and wendy, her sister :)]. At that same time, I learnt that I had failed my neuroscience exam, but was eligible for a supplementary exam (THANK GOD! imagine having to repeat that unit! *shock horror shock horror horror*) so YAY: that I was not somewhere in monkey mia being a tourist and being too far away to come back to revise for my exam, and BOO: having to study instead of spending my holiday like a TRUE BLUE HOLIDAY.
The day before my supplementary exam.. I was still clueless about the brain. I could memorise certain information, but my understanding was non-existent. Drove muimui to UWA for her orientation in the morning and walked with her to wherever the orientation was, and as I was on my way to my car, there was Judy, fresh out of the exam hall.. after her NEUROSCIENCE EXAM! Exchanged greetings, told her about my doomsday yada yada and left UWA and headed home. Later in the day, Judy texted me to tell me that we could meet up if I needed any help and i was like.. YES OF COURSE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I'M DESPERATE. And so we met. And finally after one whole semester, I understood THE BRAIN. Judy taught me all these cool diagrams of the circle of willis and the cerebral arteries and etc etc which i drew on my supp exam paper which the teacher said was cool (woohooo). and VIOLA! I passed my supp exam because of God's behind-the-scenes work and perfect timing. :D
And with mui2, I'm so thankful that I could accommodate her for that short period and introducing her to OCF, because being surrounded by Christian brothers and sisters, she eventually knew about the gospel and decided to ask Christ into her heart to be her Lord and Saviour in OCF Easter Camp 2010 :)
All glory to God, whose plans are perfect and AWEEEEsomeee!


GERONTOLOGY LATE SUBMISSION
I have a problem with handing in my assignments on time. This also stresses my parents. A LOT. So one of my resolutions this year was to hand in my assignments on time but oops, i did it again (hahahha lame chop). The penalties for late submission: 10% of total assignment mark. I had a Neuroscience poster and Gerontology essay due on the Monday after Easter Tute Free week. That is crazy. But as a part time student doing 2 units, I've got it really good. But I don't know.. being the slowpoke that I am before submission date, I managed to hand in my Neuroscience poster on time, but could only hand in Gerontology the day after the due date, which meant a penalty of 4% from 40%. (which is dangerous when you are required to type 1600 words in one day). We received our essay results a few weeks later and to my amazement, I got 30.5 out of 40.. THANK GOD! but then i realised that I wasn't penalised yet for my late submission. I struggled with the decisions i had to choose from. a) keep quiet, keep the marks, keep feeling guilty? OR b) tell the teacher, get penalised, live guilt free?
it was a great struggle but thankfully after deducting 4 marks will still give me a pass mark so that made the decision making process so much easier. I chose b), because God has reminded me time and again through experiences that everything that happens in my life may not be within my control, but they are in His control. Scoring well may mean the world to me, but if that was to be done in a way that displeases God, does scoring well matter to God then? If I were to be teaching kids in Sunday school not to lie or cheat, what gives me the right to lie and cheat before God? So yes. Made the tough decision and told my tutor who told me to email the unit coordinator which I did.. Just a few days ago, here's what I got in my email inbox:
"

Dear Jeannie

Thank you for your honesty. Because of your email I decided to keep your mark for the assignment on 30.5. 

Well done for doing the right thing and write to me. It takes courage.

"

and for this, which was really beyond my control, I THANK GOD, who taught me to let go of things that may seem important in this lifetime, but does not last for eternity.

when I compare what I experienced to that of Esther's, I must say, hers was clearly a tougher decision to make. It was a matter of life and death. Yet, her faith in God led her to come to this decision:

(Esther 4:16)
“Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my maids will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.”

2 Corinthians 4:18
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Getting There (3)

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Jun

13

2011

. . . come, follow Me —Luke 18:22

Where our individual desire dies and sanctified surrender lives. One of the greatest hindrances in coming to Jesus is the excuse of our own individual temperament. We make our temperament and our natural desires barriers to coming to Jesus. Yet the first thing we realize when we do come to Jesus is that He pays no attention whatsoever to our natural desires. We have the idea that we can dedicate our gifts to God. However, you cannot dedicate what is not yours. There is actually only one thing you can dedicate to God, and that is your right to yourself (see Romans 12:1). If you will give God your right to yourself, He will make a holy experiment out of you— and His experiments always succeed. The one true mark of a saint of God is the inner creativity that flows from being totally surrendered to Jesus Christ. In the life of a saint there is this amazing Well, which is a continual Source of original life. The Spirit of God is a Well of water springing up perpetually fresh. A saint realizes that it is God who engineers his circumstances; consequently there are no complaints, only unrestrained surrender to Jesus. Never try to make your experience a principle for others, but allow God to be as creative and original with others as He is with you.
If you abandon everything to Jesus, and come when He says, “Come,” then He will continue to say, “Come,” through you. You will go out into the world reproducing the echo of Christ’s “Come.” That is the result in every soul who has abandoned all and come to Jesus.
Have I come to Him? Will I come now?

Your Spiritual Pipeline

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June 13, 2011 — by Dennis Fisher

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Our Daily Bread Radio is hosted by Les Lamborn

Read: Psalm 57

My soul trusts in You; and in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge. —Psalm 57:1

Bible in a year:
Ezra 6-8; John 21

The Trans-Alaska Pipeline stretches 800 miles through Alaska. Because it was built through an earthquake zone, engineers had to be sure the pipe could withstand earth trauma. They decided on a network of Teflon sliders designed to ease the shock when the ground moved below the pipes. Engineers were delighted when the first big test came. In 2002, an earthquake occurred causing the ground to move 18 feet to one side. The Teflon sliders moved gently to accommodate the movement without any damage to the pipe. The key was flexibility.
The believer’s spiritual pipeline to heaven is built upon firm trust in God. But if we are inflexible in our expectations of how God should work, we can run into trouble. In a crisis, we can make the mistake of shifting our focus from God to our painful circumstances. Our prayer should be, “God, I don’t understand why You have allowed this painful situation. But I am trusting in Your ultimate deliverance despite all that’s going on around me.” The psalmist expressed this so well when he wrote: “My soul trusts in You . . . until these calamities have passed by” (Ps. 57:1).
When the earth seems to move under us, let’s be flexible in our expectations but firmly confident in God’s steadfast love and care.


Press forward and fear not! Though trials be near;
The Lord is our refuge; whom then shall we fear?
His staff is our comfort, our safeguard His rod;
Then let us be steadfast and joy in our God. —Anon.

it's interesting looking back at old text messages to see how i used to talk to some people so much but now, it's quite awkward to start .. or carry on a conversation..
it's also quite cool to see how God has blessed me along the way with different people in my life..

memories.. are so interesting.
LESS THAN A WEEK TO PREEDOM!

Thank You Jesus for the cross - the symbol of forgiveness to those who believe. You were ready to give up Your life for sinners; broken, imperfect, ungrateful people who make empty promises and make ourselves our own god. You loved the people who broke Your heart time after time. You sought forgiveness from the Father on behalf of those who nailed You to the cross. In the midst of mocking voices and excruciating pain - love was on Your mind. Salvation of the nations of people who were initially headed for eternal separation from God was done by Your act of selflessness - the very reason You entered the world for. You showed us how to love and You covered and filled us with Your radical love.

In knowledge of this fact that You have died for our sins once and for all, we ought to be living in gratefulness and repentance from sinful ways that break Your heart. But how thick this wall of sin has become - blocking Your still small voice out of our lives even though we have been reminded of Your amazing grace. Forgive us Lord, for making light the message of Your love - for taking things into our own hands even though we know that all authority in heaven and earth has been given to You. Forgive us for choosing what we want over what You know we need. Forgive us for the hate, bitterness, pride, jealousy in our lives. Forgive us for all the times we ignore the poor and the needy. Forgive us for thinking that we are of higher social standing than others.

Come Lord Jesus, heal our land - renew our hearts - purify and polish them. Dwell in our hearts and reign in our lives. Come take Your place as king - our Lord and Saviour. May each day of our lives bring You glory and praise. May Your name be magnified.

Luke 6:35
...because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful...

Keeping The Wonder

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May 29, 2011 — by David C. McCasland

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Our Daily Bread Radio is hosted by Les Lamborn

Read: 2 Peter 1:2-11

If these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. —2 Peter 1:8

Bible in a year:
2 Chronicles 7-9; John 11:1-29

On a recent trip, my wife was seated near a mother with a young boy on his first flight. As the plane took off, he exclaimed, “Mom, look how high we are! And everything’s getting smaller!” A few minutes later he shouted, “Are those clouds down there? What are they doing under us?” As time passed, other passengers read, dozed, and lowered their window shades to watch the in-flight video. This boy, however, remained glued to the window, absorbed in the wonder of all he was seeing.
For “experienced travelers” in the Christian life, there can be great danger in losing the wonder. The Scriptures that once thrilled us may become more familiar and academic. We may fall into the lethargy of praying with our minds but not our hearts.
Peter urged the early followers of Christ to continue growing in their faith, virtue, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, brotherly kindness, and love (2 Peter 1:5-7). He said, “If these things are yours and abound [or are increasing], you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ” (v.8). Without them we become blind and forget the marvel of being cleansed from our sins (v.9).
May God grant us all grace to keep growing in the wonder of knowing Him.

On such love, my soul, still ponder
Love so great, so rich, so free;
Say, while lost in holy wonder,
“Why, O Lord, such love to me?” —Kent

Continual growing in Christ
comes from a deepening knowledge of Him.

I don't know where to start, but let's just say that I am feeling overwhelmed by God's blessings in my life.

after a 2 hour talk on our fieldwork placements for 2012 from 12-2pm, i walked out of hollis theatre and bumped into Janice, who felt the same way as i was feeling at the moment: VERY HUNGER (puan, 2011).. So, we walked to the main cafe together and had a straight to the point catch up session while savouring our $4.50 guild special - curry and rice.YUMYUMYUMYUM..

Oceanic Conference
Rick Warren - Hearing God's Voice
1. Scripture
2. Thoughts/Ideas
3. People
4. Pain

I've been so blessed. I can recall my first semester in uni, when I received grades so good that it didn't match the amount of effort i had put into it compared to my coursemates, I even felt bad that I scored such good grades. I thank God.

My second year was a time of trials and challenges where my life seemed to be going in a downward spiral, mentally, I felt I was going to breakdown. Having overcommitted myself to various opportunities to serve in ministry and struggling to balance and prioritise, my grades were the first to plummet, and to cut a long story short, I ended up having 2 units to repeat and that pushed me back by one year. It was a challenging learning experience but by God's grace, I've been able to accept these successes and failures as moments that have shaped who I am. I have been also struggling with an issue of not being able to hand in my assignments on time.. ever since the first late submission, it just seemed impossible to hand them in on time. I thank God for weaknesses and failures to remind me that I am only human and I am flawed. But also reminding me to place my confidence not on my earthly successes or myself, but in Him - the unfailing, almighty - the one who has all authority, and His amazing plans for the world.

ok i needa do other stuff hehe

so because it feels like winter is here...a tip to those fighting the chilly wind/ chilly even without the wind.. WALK TO THE TRAIN STATION WITH A THICK BLACK JACKET.

that's what i did this morning in supposedly 5 degrees celsius according to my dad but it would probably have risen with the sun.. pretty sure that if i took my jacket off at the train station, water vapour will rise from my body and i'll be walking with a cloud right above my head.

anyway, came across this verse which i have not read in a while and thought that it was pretty timely as ocf curtin committee starts hunting for the next term's comm members.

1 Cor 3:7 "so neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow."

Paul was addressing the church in Corinth, as they were divided over which leader was greater and who they should follow. They have failed to recognise that all the leaders were working towards the same goal - for the church to grow in Christ. And also, that it is God who makes things grow.

Indeed, we can do all things through Christ, and Christ alone :) And I'm thankful that it is God making things grow :D how much are man capable of compared to His BIG HANDS?

how wonderful it feels when the person that you've set aside as much time as u can afford to spend time with, blames you for her uneventful school break. love it. thanks for your kind understanding and unselfishness. i feel so appreciated. like totally.

they feel so once upon a time

“If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.” - Romans 10:9-10

It matters not how large or small
Your faith may seem to be;
What really counts is whom you trust
In life’s uncertainty. —Fitzhugh

Came across this short poem online and was reminded of a conversation with Shu Han on one of our interview visit car trips:

Exercising faith is like sitting on a chair. We have faith that the chair is able to hold us and not wobble and break, hence we sit on it. However, it's not because of our faith that we do not fall when we sit, but because of the stability and strength of the chair. If we have strong faith, the chair doesn't fall. If we have faith as small as a mustard seed, the chair doesn't fall. Even when we have no faith at all, the chair is still strong and stable.

Likewise, our faith in God does not determine how mighty our God is.
The fact is this -
Psalm 18:2 "The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
   my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
   my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold"

In the midst of uncertainty in this time and age, in a world that seems to be fading and dying physically and morally, in times of disappointment and times of joy, in a confused, directionless and faithless nation, we have all the confidence that the Creator of the world is still in control - our unshakeable stronghold - unchanging, everlasting.

as human, we like to say unneccessary stuff to spite others and bring them down
as human, we can be insensitive to how someone else is feeling
as human, we like to find something to blame.. anything but ourselves.
as human, we are selective about who we want to be nice to/ be patient to
as human, we can bear grudges for the longest time.
as human, we take people for granted.

as human, we need help. we need forgiveness.

note to self:
please keep mouth shut or stay away from people when tired or cranky.

   ²³ “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. ²⁴ You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.
   ²⁵ “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. ²⁶ Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.
   ²⁷ “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. ²⁸ In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.



the sinfulness of man... causes pain..whether its doing something we ought not to do, or not doing something we ought to do. our selfishness and ignorance, our pride and insensitivity... how disgusting we can become sometimes.. many times.. without forgiveness, where will we be? 

i dont particularly have anything to talk about at the moment.
just feel like typing something HAHA.

God moves mysteriously and HE is ALWAYS working. we catch on to His actions and partner with Him to extend His love.
there's so much to be done.
i don't understand how i could have spent the past many hours on fb ):

if loving someone means wanting the best for someone, don't you think it's stupid if you expect that person to selfishly keep whatever's given to her all to herself?
so driving to jandakot way after my bedtime even though im going to school early the next day, just cause i feel like exploring some shopping place is totally reasonable while picking a friend up from the city when im on the way to somewhere is not. because im accountable to you, the way i spend my resources that came from you should be spent only on myself? geez man. i wonder who's being unreasonable. pig. pig pig pig pig pig. pfft.

our Father is working. He is ALWAYS working.
:)

even in your most dreaded moments, God has His purposes and is in total control.
today, i think i've learnt that i need to be humble and inclusive.
unconditional love is one amazing gift that i may have under appreciated.
this post is so mysterious and random.
i feel like kueh lapis
i think i have a tendency to become detached too

hmmmm

isnt it funny how i am actually lost for words to say anything.. when we could go on and on and on in the past?
OH SO FUNNY.
HA.
HA.
HA..

HELLO PERTHLAND! YOU ARE HAWTTTT!

1) thank you qinyi, daryl, minhui, aunty mercy, uncle rui quan, pastor yang, uncle yi quan, auntie mu zhen, da jiu and ah gim for sending us off :D it's so heartwarming to know that God has placed loving people around in our lives.

2) i got a temp job for the next 3 weeks within a couple of hours of arriving in perth! apparently val remembered that i'll be back early and asked if i wanted to come in to fill in for her colleague who's goin home to msia for hols. so we put our luggage down at home, showered, then i left to go for job training! bad idea... i was so short of sleep... even though i was present physically, my mind wasnt working... i felt so bad for the girl training me.. i had to get her to repeat herself so many times cus i kept dozing off when she was explaining. it was SO BAD. i could hardly hold a proper conversation with anyone.. my eyes were threatening to close so often. but how cool is this :D:D:D i dont know any accounting!!! D:

3) my house is dusty and disgusting i dont know where to sleeep. SPRINGCLEANING TOMORROW!

GGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

RRRRRRRRRAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

PRINT PRINTER PRINT!!!!!!!!

uggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

happy holidaying in singapore is coming to a close soon.

I'm glad I had the opportunity to meet up with quite a number of ppl even though I did not do any proper planning.. Thank God that for some of my friends, it was the right time to meet up! Not trying to imply that some other meet ups were bad.. i enjoyed every one of it.. but at least for some i get to be useful as a friend and be there when they need company/a shoulder/a hand/an ear/some tissue paper/a stomach.. since im so free.
i thank God as I look back, for family relationships+friendships that have grown over time. awkward-sit-around-and-stare-and-smile-cny-gatherings to laughing-your-head-off-and-becoming-fb-friends-with-dad's-cousins'-children-at-great-granduncle's-birthday-dinner, sampling free food around orchard road, eating ice cream and yoghurt and xiaolongbao etc etc, jogging, swimming, chilling, churching, jamming...

at the same time, i also feel a bit a annoyed at how i can be so stuck up sometimes. i dont know.. this year will be interesting. so many things will be different. no more geri & fcil around, no more close friend, upcoming weekend battles with the kissmon in the house, awkward moments.. woohoo
o.0

i finally got a new bible :D i <3 bi-ling-long bibles!

i have become so shallow.. i have so many thoughts in my mind but its not coming out.
oh wells
goodnight world

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/afp/20110106/twl-haiti-quake-1year-women-rape-4bdc673.html

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/afp/20110106/tap-health-china-environment-pollution-8d4ea94.html

le sigh..

2011 has already begun and im not mentally prepared. Not like something major is supposed to happen, but the days have just flown past so quickly! To see how my year 2010 has gone, I glanced through blogposts of the year... I could tell that it was an emotional roller coaster ride.. but some of the posts were too mysterious and vague that I myself can't recall what happened :S good one. HAHA i dont know if i've forgiven, but i sure have forgotten!

THE GOODs:
a) i've learnt about God's patience and faithfulness personally - that it's not dependent on how faithful i've been to Him or how holy i've been or how much I have done for Him, because I'd definitely miss the mark if He chose to set any. Instead, the amount of patience and faithfulness He's shown is according to His INFINITE love for me.. and you (:

b) i've been truly blessed and loved and i am grateful beyond words for family and friends who've been patient with me in my moments of brattiness, who brighten my day at the right place and right time, who offer time and kind words of advice, people who point me to Jesus, people who have cooked for me or treated me to meals or even lent me money (whether i've remembered to return or not.. hehehe SORRY IF I HAVENT!), people who drive me, people who sit in my car and entertain me and boss, bus buddy, silly faces, kite flying, muay thai, late night chats, funny headband day, churros day, jogging, swimming, dancing, screaming, laughing....aiyah! there's so many blessings and since im pretty sure these kinda things happen more than once in each day, i'd have more than 365 things mentioned if i really had to list everything out. but yes! i believe everyone is a blessing. and some are blessings in disguise so im sorry if im not appreciating you now, because I should be.. but maybe ur annoyingness overrules ur blessingness ok im kidding i seriously do not have anyone in mind when im typing this sentence. PEACE EVERYBODY! thank you for being you! God loves you!

c) Seeing friends coming to know and accept Christ and knowing that these did not happen through our convincing, but the Spirit of God moving in their hearts and their lives. Their growth in their faith in God also amazes and encourages me a lot! It's the most exciting news to hear about! :D :D :D It reminds me of God's amazingness and awesomeness (more awesome than kungfu panda), and that He is a personal God who knows our thoughts, knows our emotions, and speaks to us in various ways (through the bible, people, experiences, dreams..)

d) I PASSED ALL UNITS THIS YEAR PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!! I EVEN GOT ONE D THIS SEM!!!

e) my experiences - joyful as well as painful. God prunes in order that we may bear more fruit, and I believe He has a plan for allowing things to happen in our lives. Even though it was difficult to be thankful for some things while I was struggling then, on hindsight, i have a slightly better understanding of how God uses experiences to grow us. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. ROMANS 8:28. I can't say that I clearly understand the reason behind all things that have happened, but I'm slowly learning :D

THE BADs
this is probably space for me to wallow in self pity and rant so if you happen to be reading this, you may move on to section-next-part. (but i know la... kpo human nature... hurhur..still here right!)
I'd like to think that I'm happy go lucky and super nice because i try to be (sometimes... i think?) but this year has proven me wrong. hahaha.. i've been challenged to love and be patient with people who have different perspectives from me on the portfolios of being a friend, struggled with the thought that my friends have been taking me for granted and using me (eg. contacting me only when they have a favour to ask), being disappointed when people do not meet my unspoken expectations of them, being sarcastic/mean/scary/angry to people instead of being gracious and forgiving. I've been heartbroken by people who probably don't even know that they've broken my heart (not in the lovey dovey sense..) but its more because im such a kpo and too sensitive to everything happening around me. my theory for rationalising one of these situations is this: I draw a box as a boundary/an expectation for myself to follow, but when others do not keep to that box, i get upset. But of course I have my reasons.. I place too high expectations on people who get closer to me.
I've also lost the ability to express some parts of my thoughts into words. or maybe its always been like that all along but it just so happened that i needed to put that part of me into use, and obviously, FAIL. but it's alright.. im not perfect.. but i guess its not very helpful to other people because they cant read my thoughts and they wouldnt understand if i did an interpretive dance. i guess i'll learn... i also learnt that sometimes i struggle with being honest with myself. this is a tough one! internal battles D: i still handed my assignments in late this sem D: but some were early :D I've struggled with keeping my quiet time consistent on and off. I get bitter about ANY relationship stuff (ya i know right.. like hello jeannie? too free is it? every single thing needs to be transformed into a problem in your life?!?) my relationship stuff, other people's relationship stuff - good or bad, i have a problem with. Mine, because im so confused/cautious/awkward/cant put thoughts into words because i dont even know what im thinking because i dont know what i want or dont want because i struggle with being honest with myself/insensitive to others/self centered. Others, because I get jealous that boyfriends become more important than friends. I'm angry but at the same time I distance myself away from them because I always have the mentality that they are busy people. i suppose that's how i drift away from people close to me. of course this is something i need to get over if not i'll be friendless soon when all my friends get attached. BUT ISN'T IT ANNOYING?!?!?! just because some guy from somewhere comes and sweeps your friend off her feet, he becomes so important..you become a substitute/wallpaper/some particle hovering in space. just because of whatever emotions or excitement they have about seeing each other every second of the day, whatever magnet attracts them to each other or WHATEVER, they are suddenly very busy people. THEN finally when they're partners are busy, they will probably realise.. oh! i haven't seen my friends for a while! well.. DUH..... welcome back to planet earth my friend.. *rolls eyes* yes i have issues i know that. and people say that i will only understand when im in the same situation. but YOU, WHO ARE READING THIS PART EVEN THOUGH I TOLD YOU NOT TO, see me acting like those things i've mentioned, please kick me shake me knock my head and throw me into the swimming pool or something and call me back to planet earth, because i dont wanna go through all this anger/hurt/complaining for nothing.. >:( sigh. so childish. if everyone took my words seriously, everyone may become single and then we'd need IVF or something to multiply hurhurhur that'd be freaky and scary and no it's not what i want hahahaha i will live with happy couple friends WHO HAVE NO TIME FOR ME ))): just kidding :D but seriously :[ LEARN. ok la. im so unreasonable and demanding D: although these have been things that've made me bitter/sad/angry/frustrated/heavy hearted (ok they all have the same meaning = NEGATIVE FEELINGS), im still thankful for each and every experience. it's been my chance to grow in knowledge of the constance in the character of Jesus despite my wavering and spiteful heart, His patience and kindness, revealing verses to me to help me forgive, showing me His own experiences from the bible. It has reminded me that I'm human and I am weak, therefore, I draw my strength from the everliving God who understands my plight and hears my thoughts and cries. No matter how much of a hypocrite I may be sounding to Him, He has still chosen to forgive and love me.


will continue to think about 2011. at the meantime, happy new year everyone!



here's something i nicked off a 2010 post which has been relevant to me this year..

Apr.22.2010
We all, with unveiled face, beholding . . . the glory of the Lord . . . —2 Corinthians 3:18


A servant of God must stand so very much alone that he never realizes he is alone. In the early stages of the Christian life, disappointments will come— people who used to be lights will flicker out, and those who used to stand with us will turn away. We have to get so used to it that we will not even realize we are standing alone. Paul said, “. . . no one stood with me, but all forsook me . . . . But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me . . .” (2 Timothy 4:16-17 ). We must build our faith not on fading lights but on the Light that never fails. When “important” individuals go away we are sad, until we see that they are meant to go, so that only one thing is left for us to do— to look into the face of God for ourselves.
Allow nothing to keep you from looking with strong determination into the face of God regarding yourself and your doctrine. And every time you preach make sure you look God in the face about the message first, then the glory will remain through all of it. A Christian servant is one who perpetually looks into the face of God and then goes forth to talk to others. The ministry of Christ is characterized by an abiding glory of which the servant is totally unaware— “. . . Moses did not know that the skin of his face shone while he talked with Him” ( Exodus 34:29 ).
We are never called on to display our doubts openly or to express the hidden joys and delights of our life with God. The secret of the servant’s life is that he stays in tune with God all the time.


Dear God, thank You for being so amazing! (: You do know my thoughts and fears and I thank You for speaking to me and reminding me to fix my eyes on You. To place my trust and hope and confidence in You and not people, because You are the light that never fails!