THE ROSE
some say love, it is a river that drowns the tender reed
some say love, it is a razor that leaves your soul to bleed
some say love, it is a hunger, an endless aching need
i say love, it is a flower, and you, its only seed

its the heart afraid of breaking, that never learns to dance
its the dream afraid of waking, that never takes the chance
its the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give
and the soul afraid of dying, that never learns to live

when the night has been too lonely, and the road has been too long
and you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong
just remember in the winter, far beneath the bitter snows..
lies the seed.. that with the sun's love,

in the spring... becomes.. the rose

what a pretty song! this was my all time fav during my cedar choir days! and it is quite meaningful too... being afraid of getting hurt and therefore unable to take risks, never taking chances, never learning to dance, never learning to live.. aww so sad..



one week of relaxation passes and its time to fight another killer week!
and another one next week!
and the week after!
unconsciously, killer weeks will become normal weeks and hopefully that means that i have truly learnt to prioritise and manage my time.
=D
to those having killer days in school or at work, do not worry or be disheartened, because WE CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS US!

HELLO STICKY STICKER! xD HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! NOT LIKE YOU READ MY BLOG, SO I WONT WRITE LONG STORY HERE! I'LL GO FIGHT WITH MY KILLER WEEK NOW! x) LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU MUMMY DADDY JODIE!! =D THANK YOU VAL AND STEF!
THANK YOU VALVAL VOONVOOOOooooOOOOoooN!
THANK YOU... I THINK ITS UNCLE JOSEPH AND AUNTIE EVELYN

THANK YOU GLENNA THE REAL STINKY POOPOO!!
XIEXIE GONG GONG!!
THANK YOU BANANA THORNTON!! =))
THANK YOU GOHBIAOMEI AND EVIL TWIN!

a substitute for a birthday tree, the birthday throne-since 2007
thank you edmen! I DONT HAVE EXCESSIVE CSF! HEHEHE
THANK YOU ESTHER DEBORAH AND YOUYAN!!! =D its a very pretty headless chicken!
THANK YOU EVIL TWIN!! xD

early 18th =D strawberry cheesecake by kristi my evil twin! <3 href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6d49FrKr65b1viu-721OjQ9Bx59oT1JttSyP55ngUAwrWfnR8vNfYXlna_f8TfoSs9Udrs6RBmZrHSGp6B5SmX4k49pn4urV323zIuHLu8lHNwaEqIOkEV75m3QlDygv87vqk/s1600-h/yumyumyum.jpg"> noon time 18th =D strawberry cupcake by gohbiaomei my biaomei!! <3 href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9zdbQOwZ8Pp8AmqOkxrRhEF4eRdu73YcU3VBffc-JekH-DXHSzWrRrlDW5YJXJkrwcAsfnPeknJOhTEsuwaxuI_pEylhksSKQtJcw28AXN0FxGPlkX1x5eSYxX7lmtRb8KbQM/s1600-h/happy+18th+me!.jpg"> night time 18th! rubiks cube cake by esther and joel my vvvv nicenicenice friends! <3<3

both of them always keep whispering and whispering and whispering. hahaha I WONDER WHY!

HELLO! so i turned 18 on the 23rd of April 2008 and it was a really really great day =)

not just a good day but a superduperspecialexclamationmark day! =D

im really really thankful that God has given me such sweet friends and family that i dont really deserve bcus i tend to take them for granted. i thank God for blessing me with love n joy despite being away from home =D and also for giving me an unforgettable 18th which i really didnt expect x)

so thank you to..

all the people who wished me happy birthday on facebook!

all the people who wished me happy birthday on friendster!

all the people who wished me happy birthday on myspace!

all the people who wished me happy birthday on email!

all the people who wished me happy birthday on text message!

all the people who wished me happy birthday on msn!

all the people who wished me happy birthday on blogs!

all the people who wished me happy birthday when we met!

all the people who wished me happy birthday over the phone!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

also thank you for all the presents and cards! i used to be only interested in presents but now i find myself being so excited to read cards HEHE i can feel the love! or also cus I AM MATURING x)

anyway im doing such a horrid job at showing how happy and grateful and touched i am but seriously im very very very happy and grateful and touched ok! maybe i'll share about what happened during the day. =)

so in the morning, banana thornton brought me out (well actually we met up at the city) and presented me with a frangelico (mm hazelnut!!!) and a card x) thank you! then we went shopping around and we got 2 nail polish- boysenberry and pixie pink! then we went back to my house at 11-ish..

the door opened and geri popped a party popper in my face HAHA i thought she was alone n being weird n mad. but then i saw amanda and then i saw balloons and then i saw the big rubiks piniata and i heard music playing AWWWW so sweet! its a surprise birthday party!! along came jess n anth hannah(jago) and we had a bit of a house tour, talking, phototaking, eating, games and stuff like that =D

this one's funny... geri n amanda were popping the poppers.. everyone was blinking at the same time HAHAHAHAHAH look at amanda!!! (far left looking like a winking cheekopehHAHAHA)I HAVE TO SAY! GERI'S COOKING REALLY IS SUPER IMPRESSIVE x)playing with makeup is fun! hehehehproof!!! our masterpieces! HEHE

HAHA its so kiddish BUT STILL!! i like i like! x) so nice and colourful oh if u havent guessed, its the RUBIK'S CUBE THEMED PARTY! hehehe! thank you tedjemulja for doing invitation cards (where's mine?! ahhaha) and blowing balloons... in my toilet??! hahaha thank you banana thornton for taking me out and making me laugh! thank you jess for the beret and for coming to let us picaso-fy you! and hannah thank you for the pouch and for dressing up so colourful! x) of course, most of all, THANK YOU GOH BIAO MEI for preparing all the food and deco and piniata and ribbons and sacrificing so much time and effort into this party! i know i've stressed u out (BUT UNINTENTIONALLY) these few weeks by asking difficult questions n everything but it was really a surprise and a wonderful one tooo =) and u really cook good food xD

then jess n hannah jago left n kristi came n we watched nodame while painting our nails with the new nail polish we got.. then kristi hannah n i left for uwa cuz hannah had to go back to college for dinner while kristi n i had bs leaders/lc prayer meet at judy's.

so at prayer meet we shared about our bs groups and our experiences and stuff.. when it was my turn to share i almost cried la! i think i'd been feeling lousy about myself n feeling im too ignorant and my knowledge of the bible is too low. plus i am extra sensitive and get discouraged easily by low turn outs and lack of response from members. the more i thought about it the more moody i became la so i was like secretly crying hahaha so stupid! anyway, thank you for the encouragements jason, joy, judy, raymond, esther and kristi! =) i really need to thank God in every circumstance and have more confidence! anyway everyone left while raymond talked to me bout ribbons and streamers and esther waited to drive me home n we had soup from judy's mum. TASTES LIKE HOMEE!!!!!! its like pork x) yumyum then judy said she wanted to visit my house for a bit so yay we all hopped onto esther's car n off we went to east perth =D

i realised i forgot my keys so i called gohbiaomei (she sounded v frantic HEHEHE) and i heard voices in the background! HAHAHA! n she came out to the balcony to open the gate while the lights in the kitchen went off HAHAHAH. i was looking at the kitchen window n asked the ppl around me if i was meant to pretend that i didnt know i could see heads moving around in my kitchen... HAHAHA. so ya birthday surprise number 2 with OCF!! AND I HAD THE COOLEST CAKE EVER! it was a RUBIKS CUBE! HEHEHE woohoo!! n kristi n joel made a birthday video (which i watched over n over n over n over again HEHE). ah im so touched!! THANK YOU SO MUCH GUYS! and im so sorry to make u guys wait for like an hour.. but u knew how to entertain urselves.. like this...

haha and this....HAHA

thanks guys for putting in so much effort and time and money and stress for this surprise! i really really really loved it!!! xD im sorrry that u guys now have less time to chiong assignments/study for tests n exams or other stuff more interesting and productive and enjoyable! i wont bother u now! HEHE! try! =p JIAYOU PEOPLE! MANY MANY LOVE!!!

especially you gohbiaomei! busy with cooking n decorating n planning AND STALKING HAHAHA. the secret's even harder to keep since we're under the same roof but u did it! =D HEHE u must b so reliefed now! HAHA LOVELOVELOVELOVE YOU YOU YOU YOU! x)

i really wanna write a list of names to thank but i dont wanna miss out anyone so basically EVERYONE, THANK YOU VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY MUCH! x) REALLY REALLY! THANKS A LOT!!!! MWAH!

Moon River, wider than a mile,
I'm crossing you in style some day.
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker,
wherever you're going I'm going your way.
Two drifters off to see the world.
There's such a lot of world to see.
We're after the same rainbow's end--
waiting 'round the bend,
my huckleberry friend,
Moon River and me.

Without You- Mariah Carey

No i cant forget this feeling
nor your face as you were leaving
but i guess that's just the way the story goes
you always smile but in your eyes your sorrow shows
yes it shows..

no i cant forget tomorrow
when i think of all my sorrow
when i had you there but then i let you go
and now its e only thing that i should let you know
what you should know

cant live, if living is without you
cant give, i cant give anymore
cant live, if living is without you
cant give, i cant give anymore

kenleeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! dulibu dibu douchooooooo!
kenleeeeeeeeeeee! ken leee meju mo!

kenleeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! dulibu dibu douchooooooo!

kenleeeeeeeeeeee! ken leee meju mo!

i was thinking of my first days in perth, new, helpless, frightened. i was thinking about how i always felt when im in a strange new situation- new, helpless, frightened. i was thinking about how lonely i was till people stepped forward and welcomed me and made me feel accepted and wanted, having somewhere to belong to. i was thinking how i would expect people to come talk to me because i am new. i was thinking how much i wanted to be included in conversations. i was thinking how i wanted to fit in, hoping someone talked to me, invited me to this and that not just once or twice but consistently, like i AM part of them. then i was thinking about myself now, how i always just stick to the people i now. i was thinking how i only talk to the people i know. how i just walk past newcomers thinking 'the friend who brought them here would entertain them'. how im being so stuck up n gross. how i am so insensitive, not thinking that it actually takes so much courage and effort to participate in an event where u didnt know anyone except for the friend that brought u.

i am thinking i have so much to learn and change..

Your Grace Still Amazes Me by Phillips, Craig and Dean

My faithful Father, enduring Friend

Your tender mercy’s like a river with no end

It overwhelms me, covers my sin

Each time I come into Your presence

I stand in wonder once again

CHORUS:

Your grace still amazes me

Your love is still a mystery

Each day I fall on my knees

Your grace still amazes me

‘Cause Your grace still amazes me

Oh, patient Saviour, You make me whole

You are the Author and the Healer of my soul

What can I give You,

Lord, what can I say

I know there’s no way to repay You

Only to offer You my praise

It’s deeper, it’s wider

It’s stronger, it’s higher

It’s deeper it’s wider

It’s stronger, it’s higher than anything my eyes can see

look at everything around you. the skies the stars the clouds the sun the moon the trees the flowers.. are they not enough to prove that there is some great supernatural being at work? can you see? SEE??? OPEN YOUR EYES AND SEEE!!!!!!!! i pray that He'll open the eyes of your heart.

so once again i'm here to share about how God brought me through my killer week. although huB exam was crap, i thank God for sending me a reminder that 23/30 for the mcq test doesnt mean acing (or even passing) my other stuff because seriously, my human bio knowledge needs lots of work. and that prac exam was an excellent example bcus i think to pass would be a veryvery big miracle.. apart from that, i had 2 assignments due and being such a slow pig i always went past my personal deadlines by like 24 hou (rs. but thank God i got them done! =D on the morning its due! ahhahaha but also thank God for taking away my stress this week! like although i kept saying how its a killer week, it wasnt strong enough to kill me who has God's help! =D so yesh.

He will carry me home.~

'holidays' or a more accurate way to put it, 'study break' is this week. liz n i celebrated the beginning of school-free week with Han's thai green curry chicken (yumyumyum) and Baskin Robbin's Rum Raisin and Cashew thingy. aaaaaah good food xD

saturday saw ocf out with YWAM (youths with a mission) for MISSIONS DAY! where we went out to houses of people who were old/sick/not coping/need help and cleaned their houses and prayed for them. =) its such a purposeful event i think we should have it more often! and it was a joy to help the family we visited.. they had 6 kids! (that's why! how do they manage!!!??) and the kids were just beaaauutifull. xD

sunday today.. HAPPY BDAY VAL VOON! =D i so wanna go buy relighting candles. hahahahaha

aaaaaaaah. im so happy today =D im gonna go assignmenting tomorroww xD KAMPATEI! I CAN DO IT!!

been doing a BIT of work.. got to catch up with some friends over msn =) Thank you Lord for EVERYTHING.

Oceans will part- Hillsong

if my heart has grown cold

there Your love will unfold

as You open my eyes to the work of Your hand

when i'm lost in my way

there Your Spirit will pray

as You open my eyes to the work of Your hand

as You open my eyes to the work of Your hand

oceans will part, nations will come

at the whisper of Your voice

hope will rise, glory shown

in my life Your will be done

present suffering may pass

Lord Your mercy will last

as You open my eyes to the work of Your hand

and my heart will find praise

i'll deligt in Your way

as You open my eyes to the work of Your hand

as You open my eyes to the work of Your hand

geri's cupcakes! deborah unites with her deborah chair!
housewarming one year late hahaha
cardboard mountain!
uncle billy's supper YUMYUM sotong super!
God makes nice skies x)

my early bday present!
i was waiting for liz to pick me up hahah n i was bored...
geri's handrolls =D

these few weeks have been killer weeks..
last week on thursday alone i had 2 presentations and a psych test on 2 long chapters and i was so sure i would die. but God once again amazed me by how real He is, pulling me through those days. the test which i hardly got to study for until half an hour before (BECAUSE OF THE 2 PRESENTATIONS) which i was frantically flipping through the pages hoping diffusion takes place in some way, trying to memorise the definitions and bla. AND I GOT 80% for that test!! i was talking to my mum about it and she said "wa! good! clever girl!".. as much as i want to give myself all the praise, it is so obvious that it wasn't me, but God showing His power through me. as Paul mentions in 2Corinthians12:10 :

That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I'm weak, then I am strong.

and how true it is, that when we know and admit our weaknesses, humbling before God and giving Him full control over our lives, FULLY depending on Him and allowing Him to work through us, then we become strong. we become strong with God's power! =D

instead of praying that God take away all my stupid assignments and tests, I should learn from Paul.. 2Cor12:8-9
Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take [the thorn in my flesh] away from me. But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

THEREFORE, I WILL BOAST ALL THE MORE GLADLY ABOUT MY WEAKNESSES, SO THAT CHRIST'S POWER MAY REST ON ME!
i am hopeless in human bio i have poor time management i hate writing and researching so basically im not cut for this uni thing i am a slow reader and we need to do readings ALL THE TIME i cant summarise and we need to do summaries quite often.. but somehow, i always survive and every week im always so amazed by how it happens! WOW WOW WOW!

and sometimes in human bio or psychology, i start to realise how we are so wonderfully made. How God actually created us with so many cells of different purposes, how they can function without us having to think about it, how our hearts beat by themselves.. imagine if we had to function them ourselves.. we would be so busy pounding our chests like gorillas to admire the other things He has created. the homeostatic mechanisms.. how we sweat to reduce body heat when we feel warm.. we dont even have to consciously tell ourselves to sweat!
i remember playing with you yan's stethoscope in kristi's house one day.. as i put it to my heart, i heard it beating (DUH) but the body sounded like this huge mechanism with so many things going on at one time. the blood gushing, me breathing.. it sounded like a very busy place.. and all i was aware of was that i was listening! i wasnt telling the blood to gush, i wasnt telling the heart to beat, i wasn telling myself to breathe, i wasn asking my stomach to digest the food, nor was i asking the mitochondria to produce ATP but they just happen!

God is AMAZING. like totally! x)

early 18th! thanks ppl =D kristi baked the cake! (its cheesecake with strawberry jam and crunchy thingy base. yumyumyum)

funny thing happened last night...
geri n i cooking in the kitchen when we started hearing really soft "exploding" sounds
me: oh there's fireworks again!
geri: ya
me: it sounds like its very far away today..
[pause]
me: oh my goodness.. theres no fireworks! its the rice cooker!
HAHAHA

oh and we spent the whole night screaming and hoping from foot to foot because a stupid cockroach came into the house >=(
its dead now woohoo!