yoz.. heex.. todae ah.. i v attentive durin malay lesson k.. actualli not rili lah.. i kip fallin aslp.. but when i was awake i kip writin notes or wadeva shit k.. wah.. i so happi.. haha.. hmm i received dis emaill.. e story so sad until i wanted to cry k.. my eyes were teary teary wan lor.. i think i paste it here..here goes..

ThE sAd story i was talking to u about:

I have a boyfriend who grew up with me.
His name is Jin.

I always thought of him as a friend until last year, when we

went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with

him.

Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my

love for him.

And soon, we became a pair of lovers, but we loved each

other in different ways.

I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there

were so many other girls.

To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just

another girl…

“Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?” I asked.

“I can’t”

“Why? You need to study at home?” I felt disappointment

grabbing me.

“No… I am going to meet a friend…”

He was always like that.

He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing.

To him, I was just a girlfriend.

The word ‘love’ only came out from my mouth.

Since I knew him, I had never heard him say ‘I love you’

before.

To us, there weren’t any anniversaries at all.

He didn’t say anything from the first day and it continued

till 100 days…200days…

Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a

doll, everyday, without fail. I don’t know why…

Then one day…

Me: Um, Jin, I …

Jin: What…don’t drag, just say..

Me: I love you.

Jin: ……you….um, just take this doll and go home.

That was how he ignored my ‘three words’ and handed me

the doll.

Then he disappeared, like he was running away.

The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room,

one by one. There were many…

Then one day came, my 15th birthday.

When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him,

and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call.

But… lunch passed, dinner passed… and soon the sky was

dark… he still didn’t call.

It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore.

Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me

and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the

house.

Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.

Me: Jin…

Jin: Here…take this…

Again, he handed me a little doll.

Me: What’s this?

Jin: I didn’t give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it

to you now. I’m going home now, bye.

Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?

Jin: Today? Huh?

I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday.

He turned around and walked away like nothing had

happen.

Then I shouted…

“Wait…”

Jin: You have something to say?

Me: Tell me, tell me you love me…

Jin: What?!

Me: Tell me

I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him.

But he just said simple cold words and left.

“I don’t want to say…that I love someone so easily, if you

are desperate to hear it, then find someone else.”

That was what he said. Then he ran off.

My legs felt numb…and I collapsed to the ground. He

didn’t want to say it easily…

How could he….

I felt that…

Maybe he was not the right guy for me…

After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just

crying.

He didn’t call me, although I was waiting.

He just continued handing me a little doll every morning

outside my house.

That’s how those dolls piled up in my room… everyday

After a month, I got myself together and went to school.

But what made the pain resurface was that… I saw him on

a street…with another girl…

He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed

me…as he touched the doll…

I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my

room, and tears fell…

Why did he give these to me…

Those dolls were probably picked out by some other girls…

In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around.

Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him.

He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house.

I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop.

I kept reminding myself that I was going to forget him,

that… it’s going to end.

Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.

Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came?

I couldn’t help hating him, acting like nothing had happen

and joking around.

Soon, he held out the doll as usual…

Me: I don’t need it.

Jin: What….why…

I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.

Me: I don’t need this doll, I don’t need it anymore!! I don’t

want to see a person like you again!

I spat out all the words that were inside me. But unlike

other days, his eyes were shaking.

“I’m sorry” He apologized in a tiny voice.

He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll…

Me: You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just

throw it away!!!

But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll.

Then…

Honk~ Honk~

With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.

“Jin! Move! Move away!” I shouted…

But he didn’t hear me, he squatted down and picked up the

doll.

“Jin, move!”

HONK~!!

“Boom!” That sound, so terrifying.

That’s how he went away from me.

That’s how he went away without even opening his eyes to

say one word to me.

After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness

and the sadness of losing him…

And after spending two months like a crazy person…

I took out the dolls.

Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we

started going out.

I remembered the days I spent with him and started to

count the days… when we were in love…

“One…two… three…”

That was how… I started to count the dolls…

“Four hundred and eighty four… four hundred and eighty

five…”

It all ended with 485 dolls.

I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms.

I hugged it tightly, then suddenly…

“I love you~, I love you~”

I dropped the dolls,shocked.

“I….lo..ve…you??”

I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.

“I love you~ I love you~”

It can’t be!

I pressed all the dolls’ stomaches as they piled on the side.

“I love you~”

“I love you~”

“I love you~”

Those words came out non-stop.

I…love you…

Why didn’t I realize that….

That his heart was always by my side, protecting me.

Why didn’t I realize that he loved me this much…

I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it’s stomach,

that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road.

It had his blood stain on it.

The voice came out, the one that I was missing so much…

“Jo…Do you know what today is? We’ve been loving each

other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn’t

say I love you…. Um… since I was too shy… If you

forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you…

everyday… till I die… Jo… I love you…”

The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked

god, why do I only know about all this now?

He can’t be by my side, but he loved me until his last

minute…

For that… and for that reason… to me… it became

courage… to live a beautiful life….

yo! hmm.. as everyone noes... yesterdae got e great singapore blackout. hah.. my hoouse was super dark.. cant c a thing k.. cuz everywhr no light. den i knocked my head n mi sister's head. hah. todae in skool we plae guitar! yayy.. sho nice rite.. if got drums den even nicer. den PE we measured our height n weight.. i so disappointed k.. i oni grew 0.5cm leh. since last yr.. n i gained 4 plus kg.. haiz,, saddening.. k.. i go liao. byex..

lalala.. so sian so sian.. lululu.. sososo sian..o yea.. we changed our chinese tcher!!! yayy!!! oolala.. now got mrs kwek.. she v nice lar... much much much much nicer than ttstooooopied huang lao niu.. im so happi im so glad tti'veogt u! hahax.. juz now art lesson.. we colored our taugeis.. so kewt can! i cant stand it.. haha.. so. adorable. i sittin b'side xing yi now..bof of us blogging.. haha.. she juz made one one.. o ya.. i hafta do moi chinese book review.. haix.. but xingyi goin to helpmi.. hee.. so kind ah..*winkz.. hai.. i dun wanna go third lang.. sureli fall aslp.. summore nv buy sweet.. gonna die soon.. aud n jinhuey not comin.. dey got bball match.. haix.. playin agnst st marg.. hope dey win! [rubs my nose]] blablabla.. nth to do lehx.. last time i found e com lab so amusing.. but now nothing much.. n im usin dis v blurred computer.. i tell u.. my eyesight ish deterioratin soon lo.. e com oso sux.. sux more than mine..but mine kip hanging wan.. os its omoz e same la. okies.. i end here. tataz.MuAcKz*

harloo squattie.. hehex..in skool now.. so sleepi.. cum agn latr.. buaibuai..

wang wang pao pao guo dong zhen de hui sheng qi! sheng qi sheng qi sheng qi sheng qi sheng qi sheng qi sheng qi! lalalalalalalalalalala!~ haha// tt song so kewt// i wanna watch e ad. hmm.. todae pass quite fast la// last nite cudn slp den sms my frenz until 2/3/4 plus.. haha.. so good ah// den we ate e lemon for science lesson;. haha// nice leh... budden hor i duno whr r my books liao.. needa dig.. haiz. aft skool we went heartland. eat mac.. now i bankrupt liao// went wif xq and parnpinpoon den wok here n dere// aft tt take neoprint/ on e whole u can sae it was rather dumb n spastic la.. hahx.. den went home a lone cuz dey take e mrt diff direction frm mi.. =[. so sleepi k.. den at e stn saw a hanwei-lookalike but tt person skinnier n taller. hehx.. den went to buy chi txbk. den cum home.. i so tired.. yesterdae slp not enuff// i think oni 1 or 2 hours pluss lor/ haix// buaiz squattie;] cya soon///

haix.. now i dun wan go skool.. =[ sufferin frm depression. blehx.. muz look on e brite side of life.. haha.. i goin to c mi frens! yay.. hah.. haiz.. k lar.. i go do my homework liao.. ='[ oo.. got e accidentali in love song. nice.. hee.. k.. toodleloo!

actualli i a bit cant wait to go 2 skool.. heex.. miss mah fwens.. n cant wait for e dance competition..i scared i forget e steps.. xE <-- this expression is created by mi.. its e buckteeth face. heehee.. aniwae.. i miss everything.. except for studyin.. homework.. u noe.. dose tt everyone hates.. hahx.. i haven printed out mi researches n mi chinese is.. UNTOUCHED.. oopsie.. hee.. dun care la.. hu ask mi to hate e chi tcher.. lalala.. juz now mi mum scolded mi cuz dis aunt frm indo came.. den i din call her.. hehe.. duno y i din tell her oso.. i so blur.. not rili mi fault.. blame e person hu passed mi e blur genes.. hai.. k.. i goin.. taz..

heyy squatz! guess wad? im finishin my homework!!! oolala.. yayy.. not rili lar.. but i v happi.. i wud like to thank.. yurica! haha.. yeah.. do e work 1 by 1.. calmli.. yayy.. hee.. i'm hungry... *.* hahx.. sum china students tt rented our old house are in e living room now.. but i duno y i dun wan go out n tok to em.. hehe.. dey all so chio chio wan leh.. den all so talented.. drawing.. music.. blablabla.. dey study in wad.. nafa.. e fine arts place lah.. hah.. k.. i go liao.. byebye! *muackz* o^.^o

haiyah.. skool startin soon.. i hate skool!!! blah,, SOMEBODY!! help mi wif mi homework! gimme sum motivation!! =[

bak frm kluang.. hah.. it isn a place u wud call v nice but i quite bu she de to leave tt place.. actualli of cos rite.. u cum todae n go home tmr.. no time 2 settle down den need to pack up n leave liao.. we climbed mountain. vvv high mountain. hah.. v steep oso.. wan to die liao ah.. den a lot of ppl injured.. aiyah// when i free den i elaborate k.. hee.. tata!