heyya.. 2dae sho tired..

actualli everydae oso tired..

hah.. yeah.. actualli supposed to hav dance prac.. in e end i think nobody so din prac..

den walked out wif teresa n pris fu..

den tell dem bout mi pri skool daes.. hah..

all e nice memories when my life was revolving my gang: jess mich meg n mi.

hah.. sweet memories..
i realised not everyone has such a nice childhood like mine..

sho lucky ah mi.. heehee.. miss my childhood daes n dose times i spent in pri skool..

but im enjoyin cedar oso lah.. juz tt now, life is so hectic..

no time to play..

cant wait for TT TIME when i can play as much as i want to come to mi agn..

i am waiting.. ^.^

haelo.. got bak ballet results todae.. haha.. not gd man.. haix.. so sad so sad.. but i expected worse than tt so i guess its.. alrite? hah.. den wad..o ya.. todae first time in choir lead e warmup stuff.. i think its stoopid.. got so many ppl staring at u.. den u duno wad to look at.. so stare at e window n curtains.. n e ceiling.. hiaz.. o ya.. saw dis pepsi cork cap necklace at compass point.. hah.. NICE!! i like.. heex.. k.. i end here.. tmr got dance prac!! yeah! o yeah. e ballet amelia rebonded her hair.. hah. v nice!!

http://www.donghaeng.net/index-e.htm

go dere.. nice christian korean website.. i think. but write english wan.. go n c.. v touching. val gav mi e website..

now i paragrafing.. haha.. muz try to get used to it.. mm.. todae my mum cum home so earli..

gimme a shock manz.. den wad.. choir was boring.. cant wait fer choral fest.. hah.. cant blieve sara got 1 of e guy's numbers..
val was saying tt she v faz.. haha.. so farnie la dey..

now like sho bu fang bian.. nxt time write k.. tataz

heyy squattie.. soso todae. o no. i can sense a stomachache. cya.. toodleloo!

uhoo! hha.. todae sho fun.. i haven wake up den esther qinyi n enxin outside dere liao.. den i quikli change.. aft a while conz n dorothy came.. den we went swimmin.. was.. quite fun lar.. aft tt went macs to eat. den conz went to karen house bake cake.. den we wok ard..den.. hiya.. i was vvv irritated wif my sister.. imagine sumone who is so irritating tryin to stick 2 u like sooperglue n leaning agnst u ALL the time like she has no bones.. vvvvv irritatin lo.. n shes so pampered// ask her go out of my room she dun wan.. muz wait until her dear nicolette cum n play wif her den she can leave.. i v pissed lo/ argh..even esther oso sae tt my sis v spoilt n pampered.. i cant stand her.. haix.. aniwae.. we had free ice cream.. its a secret. so i shant tell e name of e place. shud i? aniwae.. many months ago mi n qinyi were cheated by sum cheater n wad ah.. we were cheated 5 dollars la.. n all along we tot we were supportin sum organistion when we juz realised todae tt everything was fake.. so ya.. but we got free stuff tho.. heh... $.$ we oso tot of rAisin funds for e church in kluang.. izit? sumthing bout raise funds wan la.. o ya.. den we were discussin e names for nicolette's famili.. like.. chocolate.. omelette.. salad.. forgot wad else.. but we were larfin our heas off la/.. aft tt mi n qinyi sing e ole macdonalds song.. at first v farni.. but e mor we sing e more not farnie liao.. aft tt went to a grafitti/graffiti/graffitti i duno how to spell.. a website lah/ i cant tell.. its too nice..muahaha.. yar.. den qinyi wrote sherns name on a cup for e bdae prezzie.. v nice la.. but e ink kip comin out.. otho dey wrote it was permenant.. todae.. luffed a lot la.. hai.. den now i dyin of sianness.. needa do stoopid zuowen.. haiz haiz haiz//

did sumthing happen to my post? its so irritatin when dis happens.. argh.. aniwae.. was sayin tt i am goin to die wif all e stupid hw.. n mebbe esther n qinyi comin to swim.. and e ballet ppl went to take neoprint in e lao pokpok machines outside e food court.. but dey were quite alrite.. did i miss anything? dun think so.. k.. tts all...

hiyoyo.. 2dae so sian.. wanna die.. haix.. tmr no skool.. nth but hw.. ltr i ask my mum if esther qinyi dey all can cum n swim a not.. if not i will practically b rotting away in dis tiny n messy room of mine.. blehx.. needa do zuo wen.. murder man.. so sick of hw liao gimme summore.. wan mi to die den happi izit.. aiyoyo.. tt time fridae aft ballet we went to take neoprint.. dose lousy lousy lao pok pok machines outside e foodcourt wan.. haha.. but it was alrite la.. den we took e wan dey sketch ur face wan.. was quite nice.. hah.. yeah.. tts all for now.. ciaoz--

harloo squattie.. at geraldine's house now.. HAPPY BURFDAE GERI!!! ahaz.. hmm.. okie.. end here liaox.. ta! ching gao teh!

haiz.. my sis ah.. cant stand her noe.. her teeth wanna drop soon den touch a little bit she make so much sound.. wth lah... so noisee. aniwae.. i'm gonna hav a ballet blog n a class blog comin up soon.. yayy!! so ppl// u noe wadta do.. giv us ur support!! yeah!

yoz.. heex.. todae ah.. i v attentive durin malay lesson k.. actualli not rili lah.. i kip fallin aslp.. but when i was awake i kip writin notes or wadeva shit k.. wah.. i so happi.. haha.. hmm i received dis emaill.. e story so sad until i wanted to cry k.. my eyes were teary teary wan lor.. i think i paste it here..here goes..

ThE sAd story i was talking to u about:

I have a boyfriend who grew up with me.
His name is Jin.

I always thought of him as a friend until last year, when we

went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with

him.

Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my

love for him.

And soon, we became a pair of lovers, but we loved each

other in different ways.

I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there

were so many other girls.

To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just

another girl…

“Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?” I asked.

“I can’t”

“Why? You need to study at home?” I felt disappointment

grabbing me.

“No… I am going to meet a friend…”

He was always like that.

He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing.

To him, I was just a girlfriend.

The word ‘love’ only came out from my mouth.

Since I knew him, I had never heard him say ‘I love you’

before.

To us, there weren’t any anniversaries at all.

He didn’t say anything from the first day and it continued

till 100 days…200days…

Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a

doll, everyday, without fail. I don’t know why…

Then one day…

Me: Um, Jin, I …

Jin: What…don’t drag, just say..

Me: I love you.

Jin: ……you….um, just take this doll and go home.

That was how he ignored my ‘three words’ and handed me

the doll.

Then he disappeared, like he was running away.

The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room,

one by one. There were many…

Then one day came, my 15th birthday.

When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him,

and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call.

But… lunch passed, dinner passed… and soon the sky was

dark… he still didn’t call.

It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore.

Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me

and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the

house.

Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.

Me: Jin…

Jin: Here…take this…

Again, he handed me a little doll.

Me: What’s this?

Jin: I didn’t give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it

to you now. I’m going home now, bye.

Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?

Jin: Today? Huh?

I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday.

He turned around and walked away like nothing had

happen.

Then I shouted…

“Wait…”

Jin: You have something to say?

Me: Tell me, tell me you love me…

Jin: What?!

Me: Tell me

I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him.

But he just said simple cold words and left.

“I don’t want to say…that I love someone so easily, if you

are desperate to hear it, then find someone else.”

That was what he said. Then he ran off.

My legs felt numb…and I collapsed to the ground. He

didn’t want to say it easily…

How could he….

I felt that…

Maybe he was not the right guy for me…

After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just

crying.

He didn’t call me, although I was waiting.

He just continued handing me a little doll every morning

outside my house.

That’s how those dolls piled up in my room… everyday

After a month, I got myself together and went to school.

But what made the pain resurface was that… I saw him on

a street…with another girl…

He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed

me…as he touched the doll…

I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my

room, and tears fell…

Why did he give these to me…

Those dolls were probably picked out by some other girls…

In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around.

Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him.

He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house.

I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop.

I kept reminding myself that I was going to forget him,

that… it’s going to end.

Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.

Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came?

I couldn’t help hating him, acting like nothing had happen

and joking around.

Soon, he held out the doll as usual…

Me: I don’t need it.

Jin: What….why…

I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.

Me: I don’t need this doll, I don’t need it anymore!! I don’t

want to see a person like you again!

I spat out all the words that were inside me. But unlike

other days, his eyes were shaking.

“I’m sorry” He apologized in a tiny voice.

He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll…

Me: You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just

throw it away!!!

But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll.

Then…

Honk~ Honk~

With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.

“Jin! Move! Move away!” I shouted…

But he didn’t hear me, he squatted down and picked up the

doll.

“Jin, move!”

HONK~!!

“Boom!” That sound, so terrifying.

That’s how he went away from me.

That’s how he went away without even opening his eyes to

say one word to me.

After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness

and the sadness of losing him…

And after spending two months like a crazy person…

I took out the dolls.

Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we

started going out.

I remembered the days I spent with him and started to

count the days… when we were in love…

“One…two… three…”

That was how… I started to count the dolls…

“Four hundred and eighty four… four hundred and eighty

five…”

It all ended with 485 dolls.

I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms.

I hugged it tightly, then suddenly…

“I love you~, I love you~”

I dropped the dolls,shocked.

“I….lo..ve…you??”

I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.

“I love you~ I love you~”

It can’t be!

I pressed all the dolls’ stomaches as they piled on the side.

“I love you~”

“I love you~”

“I love you~”

Those words came out non-stop.

I…love you…

Why didn’t I realize that….

That his heart was always by my side, protecting me.

Why didn’t I realize that he loved me this much…

I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it’s stomach,

that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road.

It had his blood stain on it.

The voice came out, the one that I was missing so much…

“Jo…Do you know what today is? We’ve been loving each

other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn’t

say I love you…. Um… since I was too shy… If you

forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you…

everyday… till I die… Jo… I love you…”

The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked

god, why do I only know about all this now?

He can’t be by my side, but he loved me until his last

minute…

For that… and for that reason… to me… it became

courage… to live a beautiful life….