our Father is working. He is ALWAYS working.
:)

even in your most dreaded moments, God has His purposes and is in total control.
today, i think i've learnt that i need to be humble and inclusive.
unconditional love is one amazing gift that i may have under appreciated.
this post is so mysterious and random.
i feel like kueh lapis
i think i have a tendency to become detached too

hmmmm

isnt it funny how i am actually lost for words to say anything.. when we could go on and on and on in the past?
OH SO FUNNY.
HA.
HA.
HA..

HELLO PERTHLAND! YOU ARE HAWTTTT!

1) thank you qinyi, daryl, minhui, aunty mercy, uncle rui quan, pastor yang, uncle yi quan, auntie mu zhen, da jiu and ah gim for sending us off :D it's so heartwarming to know that God has placed loving people around in our lives.

2) i got a temp job for the next 3 weeks within a couple of hours of arriving in perth! apparently val remembered that i'll be back early and asked if i wanted to come in to fill in for her colleague who's goin home to msia for hols. so we put our luggage down at home, showered, then i left to go for job training! bad idea... i was so short of sleep... even though i was present physically, my mind wasnt working... i felt so bad for the girl training me.. i had to get her to repeat herself so many times cus i kept dozing off when she was explaining. it was SO BAD. i could hardly hold a proper conversation with anyone.. my eyes were threatening to close so often. but how cool is this :D:D:D i dont know any accounting!!! D:

3) my house is dusty and disgusting i dont know where to sleeep. SPRINGCLEANING TOMORROW!

GGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

RRRRRRRRRAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

PRINT PRINTER PRINT!!!!!!!!

uggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

happy holidaying in singapore is coming to a close soon.

I'm glad I had the opportunity to meet up with quite a number of ppl even though I did not do any proper planning.. Thank God that for some of my friends, it was the right time to meet up! Not trying to imply that some other meet ups were bad.. i enjoyed every one of it.. but at least for some i get to be useful as a friend and be there when they need company/a shoulder/a hand/an ear/some tissue paper/a stomach.. since im so free.
i thank God as I look back, for family relationships+friendships that have grown over time. awkward-sit-around-and-stare-and-smile-cny-gatherings to laughing-your-head-off-and-becoming-fb-friends-with-dad's-cousins'-children-at-great-granduncle's-birthday-dinner, sampling free food around orchard road, eating ice cream and yoghurt and xiaolongbao etc etc, jogging, swimming, chilling, churching, jamming...

at the same time, i also feel a bit a annoyed at how i can be so stuck up sometimes. i dont know.. this year will be interesting. so many things will be different. no more geri & fcil around, no more close friend, upcoming weekend battles with the kissmon in the house, awkward moments.. woohoo
o.0

i finally got a new bible :D i <3 bi-ling-long bibles!

i have become so shallow.. i have so many thoughts in my mind but its not coming out.
oh wells
goodnight world

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/afp/20110106/twl-haiti-quake-1year-women-rape-4bdc673.html

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/afp/20110106/tap-health-china-environment-pollution-8d4ea94.html

le sigh..

2011 has already begun and im not mentally prepared. Not like something major is supposed to happen, but the days have just flown past so quickly! To see how my year 2010 has gone, I glanced through blogposts of the year... I could tell that it was an emotional roller coaster ride.. but some of the posts were too mysterious and vague that I myself can't recall what happened :S good one. HAHA i dont know if i've forgiven, but i sure have forgotten!

THE GOODs:
a) i've learnt about God's patience and faithfulness personally - that it's not dependent on how faithful i've been to Him or how holy i've been or how much I have done for Him, because I'd definitely miss the mark if He chose to set any. Instead, the amount of patience and faithfulness He's shown is according to His INFINITE love for me.. and you (:

b) i've been truly blessed and loved and i am grateful beyond words for family and friends who've been patient with me in my moments of brattiness, who brighten my day at the right place and right time, who offer time and kind words of advice, people who point me to Jesus, people who have cooked for me or treated me to meals or even lent me money (whether i've remembered to return or not.. hehehe SORRY IF I HAVENT!), people who drive me, people who sit in my car and entertain me and boss, bus buddy, silly faces, kite flying, muay thai, late night chats, funny headband day, churros day, jogging, swimming, dancing, screaming, laughing....aiyah! there's so many blessings and since im pretty sure these kinda things happen more than once in each day, i'd have more than 365 things mentioned if i really had to list everything out. but yes! i believe everyone is a blessing. and some are blessings in disguise so im sorry if im not appreciating you now, because I should be.. but maybe ur annoyingness overrules ur blessingness ok im kidding i seriously do not have anyone in mind when im typing this sentence. PEACE EVERYBODY! thank you for being you! God loves you!

c) Seeing friends coming to know and accept Christ and knowing that these did not happen through our convincing, but the Spirit of God moving in their hearts and their lives. Their growth in their faith in God also amazes and encourages me a lot! It's the most exciting news to hear about! :D :D :D It reminds me of God's amazingness and awesomeness (more awesome than kungfu panda), and that He is a personal God who knows our thoughts, knows our emotions, and speaks to us in various ways (through the bible, people, experiences, dreams..)

d) I PASSED ALL UNITS THIS YEAR PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!! I EVEN GOT ONE D THIS SEM!!!

e) my experiences - joyful as well as painful. God prunes in order that we may bear more fruit, and I believe He has a plan for allowing things to happen in our lives. Even though it was difficult to be thankful for some things while I was struggling then, on hindsight, i have a slightly better understanding of how God uses experiences to grow us. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. ROMANS 8:28. I can't say that I clearly understand the reason behind all things that have happened, but I'm slowly learning :D

THE BADs
this is probably space for me to wallow in self pity and rant so if you happen to be reading this, you may move on to section-next-part. (but i know la... kpo human nature... hurhur..still here right!)
I'd like to think that I'm happy go lucky and super nice because i try to be (sometimes... i think?) but this year has proven me wrong. hahaha.. i've been challenged to love and be patient with people who have different perspectives from me on the portfolios of being a friend, struggled with the thought that my friends have been taking me for granted and using me (eg. contacting me only when they have a favour to ask), being disappointed when people do not meet my unspoken expectations of them, being sarcastic/mean/scary/angry to people instead of being gracious and forgiving. I've been heartbroken by people who probably don't even know that they've broken my heart (not in the lovey dovey sense..) but its more because im such a kpo and too sensitive to everything happening around me. my theory for rationalising one of these situations is this: I draw a box as a boundary/an expectation for myself to follow, but when others do not keep to that box, i get upset. But of course I have my reasons.. I place too high expectations on people who get closer to me.
I've also lost the ability to express some parts of my thoughts into words. or maybe its always been like that all along but it just so happened that i needed to put that part of me into use, and obviously, FAIL. but it's alright.. im not perfect.. but i guess its not very helpful to other people because they cant read my thoughts and they wouldnt understand if i did an interpretive dance. i guess i'll learn... i also learnt that sometimes i struggle with being honest with myself. this is a tough one! internal battles D: i still handed my assignments in late this sem D: but some were early :D I've struggled with keeping my quiet time consistent on and off. I get bitter about ANY relationship stuff (ya i know right.. like hello jeannie? too free is it? every single thing needs to be transformed into a problem in your life?!?) my relationship stuff, other people's relationship stuff - good or bad, i have a problem with. Mine, because im so confused/cautious/awkward/cant put thoughts into words because i dont even know what im thinking because i dont know what i want or dont want because i struggle with being honest with myself/insensitive to others/self centered. Others, because I get jealous that boyfriends become more important than friends. I'm angry but at the same time I distance myself away from them because I always have the mentality that they are busy people. i suppose that's how i drift away from people close to me. of course this is something i need to get over if not i'll be friendless soon when all my friends get attached. BUT ISN'T IT ANNOYING?!?!?! just because some guy from somewhere comes and sweeps your friend off her feet, he becomes so important..you become a substitute/wallpaper/some particle hovering in space. just because of whatever emotions or excitement they have about seeing each other every second of the day, whatever magnet attracts them to each other or WHATEVER, they are suddenly very busy people. THEN finally when they're partners are busy, they will probably realise.. oh! i haven't seen my friends for a while! well.. DUH..... welcome back to planet earth my friend.. *rolls eyes* yes i have issues i know that. and people say that i will only understand when im in the same situation. but YOU, WHO ARE READING THIS PART EVEN THOUGH I TOLD YOU NOT TO, see me acting like those things i've mentioned, please kick me shake me knock my head and throw me into the swimming pool or something and call me back to planet earth, because i dont wanna go through all this anger/hurt/complaining for nothing.. >:( sigh. so childish. if everyone took my words seriously, everyone may become single and then we'd need IVF or something to multiply hurhurhur that'd be freaky and scary and no it's not what i want hahahaha i will live with happy couple friends WHO HAVE NO TIME FOR ME ))): just kidding :D but seriously :[ LEARN. ok la. im so unreasonable and demanding D: although these have been things that've made me bitter/sad/angry/frustrated/heavy hearted (ok they all have the same meaning = NEGATIVE FEELINGS), im still thankful for each and every experience. it's been my chance to grow in knowledge of the constance in the character of Jesus despite my wavering and spiteful heart, His patience and kindness, revealing verses to me to help me forgive, showing me His own experiences from the bible. It has reminded me that I'm human and I am weak, therefore, I draw my strength from the everliving God who understands my plight and hears my thoughts and cries. No matter how much of a hypocrite I may be sounding to Him, He has still chosen to forgive and love me.


will continue to think about 2011. at the meantime, happy new year everyone!



here's something i nicked off a 2010 post which has been relevant to me this year..

Apr.22.2010
We all, with unveiled face, beholding . . . the glory of the Lord . . . —2 Corinthians 3:18


A servant of God must stand so very much alone that he never realizes he is alone. In the early stages of the Christian life, disappointments will come— people who used to be lights will flicker out, and those who used to stand with us will turn away. We have to get so used to it that we will not even realize we are standing alone. Paul said, “. . . no one stood with me, but all forsook me . . . . But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me . . .” (2 Timothy 4:16-17 ). We must build our faith not on fading lights but on the Light that never fails. When “important” individuals go away we are sad, until we see that they are meant to go, so that only one thing is left for us to do— to look into the face of God for ourselves.
Allow nothing to keep you from looking with strong determination into the face of God regarding yourself and your doctrine. And every time you preach make sure you look God in the face about the message first, then the glory will remain through all of it. A Christian servant is one who perpetually looks into the face of God and then goes forth to talk to others. The ministry of Christ is characterized by an abiding glory of which the servant is totally unaware— “. . . Moses did not know that the skin of his face shone while he talked with Him” ( Exodus 34:29 ).
We are never called on to display our doubts openly or to express the hidden joys and delights of our life with God. The secret of the servant’s life is that he stays in tune with God all the time.


Dear God, thank You for being so amazing! (: You do know my thoughts and fears and I thank You for speaking to me and reminding me to fix my eyes on You. To place my trust and hope and confidence in You and not people, because You are the light that never fails!

omg. this is the ultimate ultimate patience tester.
JESUS WINS JESUS WINS JESUS WINS JESUS WINS

Philippians 4:4-9 (New International Version, ©2010)

Final Exhortations

 ⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  ⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹ Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.