hello squatsquat,
i managed to go to the beach yesterday. :) but when i reached there, it wasn't warm and sunny. it was breezy, slightly chilly and the sun was setting. i read matthew24-28 and i learnt many things.

the end of age comes like a thief in the night. will you be ready for it? or will you be caught unaware? our present mindset always looks towards the far future, what we should do now to achieve our dreams- get married, have children, live here, live there, travel here, travel there, earn xxx amt of money by what age, own a company, be a taitai, i don't know what else.. but the idea that the end of age is near doesn't quite sink in as much to make us vigilant and prepared to welcome the return of our King.

4Jesus answered: "Watch out that no one deceives you. 5For many will come in my name, claiming, 'I am the Christ,[a]' and will deceive many. 6You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. 7Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. 8All these are the beginning of birth pains.
9"Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. 10At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, 11and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. 12Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, 13but he who stands firm to the end will be saved. 14And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.

44So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.

the parable of the talents made me think- am i being that shrewd servant who received one talent and hid it underground? what have i been doing with everything God has blessed me with?

41"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'
44"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'
45"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'
46"Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."

i'm actually not as good as i think myself to be.. there's the old man that sits outside subi and asks for a couple of dollars whenever we walk past. He's always ignored.. the people who need to eat and drink much more than i do.. i'm not doing much about it. those that need clothes much more than i do.. do i think of helping them at my own expense or am i only considering them when i have leftovers? when people go to prison, are they condemned by the church for being a sinner (aren't we all?) or are they visited and loved and supported, encouraged as they attempt to start life anew and seek forgiveness?

i was reminded that Jesus' last days were not only physically painful, they were emotionally quite hurtful too.
Judas, one of the disciples that Jesus loved, decides to betray Jesus and joins in the plot to kill his own teacher

when Jesus asked His disciples to pray while He also prayed at Gethsemane, when His soul was "overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death", He came back and found them asleep. How lonely and unsupported it must have felt to be in that position- to know that you are dying, and you're the only one praying. and the people you love, that you have spent so much time teaching and serving, are sleeping instead of praying with you. so painful..

Jesus did no wrong, but had to bear the weight of the world's sins by dying on the cross. As God in human body, he was sorrowful and troubled. He feels emotions as much as we do. at Gethsamane, before the time He knew He'd be taken away, Jesus prayed for God's will to be done despite His physical self feeling so distressed. Dying on the cross is nothing He had done to deserve, Him being all powerful and all knowing, yet He submitted to God's will out of love for us. 3 times He prayed "My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done." . this hurt isn't just a 'my gf dumped me,' or 'i failed 2 units' kind of pain.. but being sentenced to death on the cross, nails piercing through His hands and feet because He acknowledged being Christ, the son of God. He could always choose to say no He wasnt and escape that pain but He knew it was written that all these were to happen in order that we are saved from sin.

Despite their promises that they will never disown Jesus even if it means death, "all the disciples deserted him and fled" when he was captured. Peter denied being Christ's follower 3 times.

Jesus was mocked, whipped, nailed, spat at, made fun of, humiliated by the people He was dying for.

and He went through all these, just so we can be saved. How amazing is that