"pretend to wash your hand"

this week's been rather eventful and im getting rather worn out from the lack of sleep. haha.

lots of time though, i feel like im wasting my life away doing unproductive things...

i spend too much time in front of the stupid computer, i spend too much time sleeping (sometimes), i spend too much time watching tv shows... i dont know why but almost everything i do seems like time unproductively spent. its so annoying..

anyway... i was in the car with my sis while daddy n mummy were in the coffeeshop making some purchases when we witnessed a fight on the other side of the street. i wasnt wearing my glasses so i couldnt really tell what was going on but clearly it was drawing lots of attention. literally every eye in that area was looking towards the commotion but it annoyed me. it annoyed me that while watching people in trouble, everyone is so spontaneous. an uncle on a bike actually stopped, moved back a little and parked himself right next to our car, where he could get the perfect view of everything. what annoyed me even more is everyone's lack of common sense or maybe self something i dont know..knowing that they need to do something about the whole situation but choosing to just sit from a distance n watching with so much concentration tt its so amazing. i saw all the kpo faces poking their noses into the business of others and i was angry. but what annoyed me the most was myself. who was i to judge all these people who were doing the same things as i was? did i watch the fight? yes. did i take action n try to stop them? no. then y in the world was i annoyed with all of them? and y am i always so timid n annoying? y do i not step in to stand up for what i believe is right? why do i choose to keep quiet instead of speaking up for those being bitched about for the wrong reasons? why do i even let myself join in sometimes?

i also feel like such an irresponsible friend, not being able the be there for them while they were upset, having their dark moments.. only learning about things that happened to them through other friends...being unable to be of any help.. rarrh.

this living in 2 countries thing is making things so weird. it makes me feel detached from both places. it makes me confused. like while living in perth im still holding on to the past while i was in singapore. when i return to singapore, i continue with what i've held on to.. lagging behind, realising that everything's carried on. its sucha weird feeling.. its like travelling in a time machine. everything's different from what u expect. people change, places change, maybe i myself change too. i nv liked change... but i guess change is good sometimes... it only needs some getting used to.. i think i have problems expressing myself. i wanna be the kind of person who can put everything into words and just talk but i dont know what i do... i think i complain.. hmm.

i miss sec3 life..i miss sec1&2 life.. i miss pri sch life.. sigh.. this is what happens when one has nth to do... LALALALA GRRRRRRR RAAAArrrrrrhHHHHHH

i think i needa get a job.. can someone please recommend me a job for january? x

on a lighter note, went over to my fellow rich taitai neighbour audeedeechanmalichan's exploited apartment for a sleepover.. (thats where the lack of sleep came from) we had years worth of happenings to catch up on.. one day wasnt enough. haha. we talked and talked, explored the condo in the middle of the night and tried to view 'my' unit as well but the lights didnt turn on.. up on the 31st level were jaccuzzies n steam baths, floating pavillions n couches, the gym n the cinema room which resembles the inside of a plane. camwhored a lot.. pretending to be rich tai tai's with imaginary sparkling diamond rings, on the phone, and trying to..fly(?!???) anyway, returned to 'her' unit and talked till i dont know when n we went to sleep, woke up at 8.30 the next morning to go swimming! coolest pool ever.. jaccuzzing was good too.. taitais in the making. ahhah. we tried to look high class n all but hmm im not v sure... talked for ages and when we returned we realised it was 2.24pm (ard the time we wanted to go visit laoshi) watched ella enchanted in the movie room with our noodles n snacks n made our way to laoshi's where she cooked yummy dinner for us.. struggled to keep our eyes open, trying so hard to concentrate on what she was talking about. haha. nxt time we meet, GYM TIME! gotta work out to get rid of muffin tops n flabs!

"toilet is over there!"

we were trying to look professional...

im so sleepy now

nights to whoever.