i dont like.
=(

its the hols! woowee

and its ending! ive really learnt and grown a lot this break..

i failed 2 out of 4 units this semester and each student is only given the chance to do one supp (repeat exam) which means i'm repeating phys rehab next year. and so its almost like retaining because im doing my second year second sem units next year including my repeat unit.

yea it sounds like a really bad thing when i first got the news but then again there's a lot to learn from it.....

hmm ok i was feeling happy a few moments ago but right now im slightly confused and annoyed.. i'll update anth time.......

My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers
The Spiritually Vigorous Saint

. . . that I may know Him . . . —Philippians 3:10

A saint is not to take the initiative toward self-realization, but toward knowing Jesus Christ. A spiritually vigorous saint never believes that his circumstances simply happen at random, nor does he ever think of his life as being divided into the secular and the sacred. He sees every situation in which he finds himself as the means of obtaining a greater knowledge of Jesus Christ, and he has an attitude of unrestrained abandon and total surrender about him. The Holy Spirit is determined that we will have the realization of Jesus Christ in every area of our lives, and He will bring us back to the same point over and over again until we do. Self-realization only leads to the glorification of good works, whereas a saint of God glorifies Jesus Christ through his good works. Whatever we may be doing— even eating, drinking, or washing disciples’ feet— we have to take the initiative of realizing and recognizing Jesus Christ in it. Every phase of our life has its counterpart in the life of Jesus. Our Lord realized His relationship to the Father even in the most menial task. "Jesus, knowing . . . that He had come from God and was going to God, . . . took a towel . . . and began to wash the disciples’ feet . . ." ( John 13:3-5 ).
The aim of a spiritually vigorous saint is "that I may know Him . . ." Do I know Him where I am today? If not, I am failing Him. I am not here for self-realization, but to know Jesus Christ. In Christian work our initiative and motivation are too often simply the result of realizing that there is work to be done and that we must do it. Yet that is never the attitude of a spiritually vigorous saint. His aim is to achieve the realization of Jesus Christ in every set of circumstances.



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God really spoke to me through today's devotion. As a follower of Christ, have I really been going about my daily life with the right purpose and attitude? My studies, my committments in Sunday school, OCF, worship... it's so easy to find myself doing it because i have to, but by doing so, i have been pushing Christ away and not surrendering everything for His plans, not letting Him have the remote control to my life..

Over all the earth You reign on high
Every mountain stream, every sunset sky
But my one request, Lord my only aim
Is that You reign in me again

Lord reign in me, reign in Your power
Over all my dreams, in my darkest hour
You are the Lord of all I am
So won't You reign in me again

Over every thought, over every word
May my life reflect the beauty of my Lord
Cause You mean more to me than any earthly thing
So won't You reign in me again

when life throws fireballs at you, you can

a. scream and faint and die

b. procrastinate and complain about the fire and die

c. whack them, kick them, fan them, spit on them with all your might.. and still die

d. fire fight it with God's fire hose and supportive people

i always thought that i never had plans for my future, but unconsciously i do. and when life doesn't go as planned, i realise that 1) i actually had a plan, 2) now i need a new plan. of course there'll be the crying sobbing sniffing at the beginning until i realise that it's not the end of the world and there's many things that i should still give thanks for and rejoice over.

for a moment i felt like Job from the bible; having things "taken away" from me.. (i soon figured that he had it much much much much harder than me). life wasnt meant to be a walk in the park.. it's the challenges that make it exciting and give us opportunities to come to know that we are nothing without God. When life seems difficult, give thanks and rejoice!

sometimes i feel like a kindie kid on the first day of school

arms hugging mum's legs, hiding my face in her thigh

pulling her away from the school gate with all my might and just wanting to go home.

sometimes i feel like a loner/loser who's forgotten the skills to start n maintain conversations.

like the most boring person to ever step foot on earth

like im invisible or horribly minute

i cant remember how it was when i was loud crazy caring confident happy loving loved

i dont know how come D:

i look at the sea of faces, all familiar..

but yet somehow, so distant and foreign

i cant help but compare myself to those around

and wonder how they get along with people so easily

wonder how come i cant be like them

n y im so easily irritable

simple things seem to be getting more difficult.. maybe i have a degenerating brain.

and i've forgotten to let God sit on the throne of my life

ah jodie.. you are so silly!
exams dont come but hurry go!
my happy family is here =D
oleh oleh oleh

i was all hyped up to finish my ergonomices assignment by today.. until i sat down n took a look at it..
=( WHY LIKE THAT!!??? i dont know what to write!

there's so many things i'd rather do.

HUR.

this is too depressing.

I NEED A LIFE!!!!!!!!!

im going mad!!!

my hippocampus is degenerating due to sustained stress!

my amygdala's losing its proper function soon!

i dont want neurofibrillary tangles or amyloid plaques to pull me onto the road to nothingness!

SOMEBODY HELP ME (do my homework)!!!

sigh sigh sigh sigh

ARGH
):

so lonely

D=

i dont like

D=

=) some things never change.. thanks for talking to me =D

and the girl who had to pee in starbucks but didnt want to leave tommy alone, thanks for talking to me =) jiayoujiayou with your funstuff!